Are You Listening?

Recently while sitting in a meeting I observed the cross talk, side conversations and individual's reading their email. It dawned on me, do we really listen to one another any more? My contention is that if leaders would REALLY listen to their employees and ask powerful questions, we could dramatically improve organizational effectiveness.

There are three levels at which we listen as follows (Madelyn Burley-Allen, 14):

Level I: Empathetic Listening- At this level the listener attempts to see things from the other's point of view. It is both listening for content and context.

Level II: At this level the listener is hearing words and unable to hear the deeper meaning of what is being said. The listener is more concerned about content than feeling.

Level III: The listener is tuning in and out. Have you ever been in conversation with someone and realized you did not hear what he/she just said? I certainly have. The listener is more interested in talking than listening.

So, how do we become a better listener? Here are some helpful tips

1.Make a commitment to become a better listener. Throughout our lives we take alot of communication courses. Have you ever taken a listening course?
2. Stay present! It is easy to let the mind wander and think about the multiple projects and tasks at hand. Level I listening requires being present in the here and now.
3. Keep an open mind. Avoid listening from judgement, biases and preconceived notions.
4. Resist external distractions. Stay focused on the conversation.
5.When appropriate take notes. Particularly with clients, it is imperative I take notes during the conversation to insure uderstanding.
6. Ask open-ended questions for clarification. These include what, how, when and where, or statements such as "tell me more". I avoid using "why" as it tends to put the speaker on the defensive.
7. Use the communication skills of paraphrasing, summarizing, and reflecting (repeat what was said using the listener's words). It takes practice to become a Level I listener. However, the benefits well outweigh the effort. What can you do to improve your listening skills?