I recently mediated in an organization where the conflict had been brewing for 14 years. We successfully navigated through it, developed a specific Memorandum of Understanding, and brought resolution to longstanding issues. However, during the course of the mediation it was evident that powerplays and walk-aways had kept the conflict going.
Dan Dana, Founder of the Mediation Training Institute has written two books,
Managing Differences and
Conflict Resolution. He discusses both powerplays and walk-aways in his books. Powerplays are a form of coercion. The purpose is to ensure safety by defeating the adversaries (Conflict Resolution, p. 49). They represent our "fight" response. Powerplays include:
- Getting others to take sides
- Undermining a person's reputation
- Pre-empting (getting there first)
- Threatening
- Shouting
- Hostile Gestures
Walk-aways on the other hand, represent our flight response. They send the conflict underground even though it still exists. It ensures our safety by avoiding conflict with the adversaries (Conflict Resolution, p.49). Walk-aways include:
- Avoiding personal contact
- Withdrawing
- Witholding Information
- Not returning messages
- Silent treatment
- Writing email messages instead of talking
- Delay giving required support
We have all utilized one or both of these in our interactions with others. They are non-productive and exacerbate conflict. Please be aware of when you use them.
Which do you utilize in conflict with others?
