Recently while sitting in a meeting I observed cross talk, side conversations, and individuals reading email. I wondered if we really listen to one another any more. My hypothesis is that if leaders would ask great questions and REALLY listen to the answer, we could dramatically improve organizational effectiveness. Today we will address the area of listening.
There are three listening levels as follows(Madelyn Burley-Allen):
Level I: The listener attempts to see things from the speaker's point of view. It is listening for content and context. As Stephen Covey said, "Seek ye first to understand and then be understood". This is called empathetic listening.
Level II: The listener is hearing words and unable to hear the deeper meaning of what is being said. She/he is more concerned about content than feeling.
Level III: The listener is tuning in and out. She/he is more interested in talking than listening.
So, how do we become a better listener?
1. Make a commitment to become a better listener.
2. Stay present! It is easy to let the mind wander and think about multiple tasks at hand. Level I listening is being present in the here and now.
3. Keep an open mind. Avoid listening from judgement, biases, and preconceived notions.
4. Resist external distractions. Stay focused on the conversation.
5. When appropriate take notes. It is particularly important when talking with clients.
6. Ask open-ended questions for clarification. These include what, how, when and where questions. Avoid using "why" as it puts the speaker on the defensive.
7. Use the communication skills of paraphrasing, summarizing and reflecting (repeat what was said using the listener's words.
It takes practice to become a Level I listener. However, the benefits well outweigh the effort. What can you do to improve your listening skills?
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