I was shocked and dismayed to realize it has been three months since my last blog. Since it was one of my intentions (I don't call them resolutions) to blog weekly in 2012, I fell short of the desired goal. As I thought about this, I realized the importance of understanding my top priorities when setting intentions. We always do those things that are of highest priority.
As you begin this new year, what are your top three priorities for the life you want to live? What is the inspired right action you can take now to ensure those priorities are front and center? Celebrate what you did accomplish, have gratitude for the year gone by, and forgive yourself for those intentions that did not fully realize. The good news is we get to choose the life we want to live!
I can't guarantee I will blog every week in 2013. However, there will be times when I will feel inspired to share. Be clear about your life priorities and let them guide you. Have a joyful and prosperous new year!
Friday, January 4, 2013
Friday, October 5, 2012
How Conflict Grows
I recently mediated in an organization where the conflict had been brewing for 14 years. We successfully navigated through it, developed a specific Memorandum of Understanding, and brought resolution to longstanding issues. However, during the course of the mediation it was evident that powerplays and walk-aways had kept the conflict going.
Dan Dana, Founder of the Mediation Training Institute has written two books, Managing Differences and Conflict Resolution. He discusses both powerplays and walk-aways in his books. Powerplays are a form of coercion. The purpose is to ensure safety by defeating the adversaries (Conflict Resolution, p. 49). They represent our "fight" response. Powerplays include:
Which do you utilize in conflict with others?
Dan Dana, Founder of the Mediation Training Institute has written two books, Managing Differences and Conflict Resolution. He discusses both powerplays and walk-aways in his books. Powerplays are a form of coercion. The purpose is to ensure safety by defeating the adversaries (Conflict Resolution, p. 49). They represent our "fight" response. Powerplays include:
- Getting others to take sides
- Undermining a person's reputation
- Pre-empting (getting there first)
- Threatening
- Shouting
- Hostile Gestures
- Avoiding personal contact
- Withdrawing
- Witholding Information
- Not returning messages
- Silent treatment
- Writing email messages instead of talking
- Delay giving required support
Which do you utilize in conflict with others?
Friday, September 28, 2012
Theory U: Part 2
Earlier this month I introduced the concept of Theory U. We discussed the listening that is required to find new solutions to complex problems. In addition to listening differently, we must also have different conversations that will allow those solutions to emerge.
C. Otto Scharmer identifies four levels of conversations. They are as follows:
C. Otto Scharmer identifies four levels of conversations. They are as follows:
- Downloading: In this type of conversation, an individual rarely says what is on her/his mind. It is polite conversation. It prevents individuals and teams from talking about what is really happening. When asked how you are, the response "I am fine" is downloading. This conversation simply reenacts existing rules and phrases.
- Debate: Participants speak their minds. She or he are willing to take a different stand or point of view which may challenge the dominant view. Debate is often used as a tool to beat the opponent.
- Dialogue: In this type of conversation, individuals listen more carefully and move away from debate. It involves inquiry into the other(s) views/positions. It relates to Stephen Covey's habit of "seek first to understand, then be understood". It is appreciation for the other person's perspective.
- Presencing: This stage of conversation provides a deeper connection to the essence of our work and who we are. Collectively, participants find common ground, solutions, and have a deep sense of purpose. There is an irrevocable bond that exists between the parties involved in presencing.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Theory U: Part I
Once in awhile I read a book that really impacts me at a deeper level. Theory U by C. Otto Scharmer is such a book. Organizations are faced with a complexity of issues. Scharmer addresses how to find the solutions for these issues.
Listening and where we focus our attention is key. There are four levels of listening he has identified as follows:
Where do you find yourself listening most often?
Listening and where we focus our attention is key. There are four levels of listening he has identified as follows:
- Downloading: How many times have you been in a conversation and said to yourself, "I have heard this all before?" This type of listening reconfirms our habitual judgements, or what we already know.
- Factual: In this type of listening we turn off the voice of judgement that is present in downloading. We pay attention to the facts and information we do not already know. We ask questions and listen to the answers. It is the basic listening mode of good science and is focused on the facts.
- Empathic: We listen from the other person's perspective. We see the world through her/his eyes. In order to do this we must have an open heart and feel as the other person does.
- Generative: In this type of listening we are changed by the conversation. We are more present and authentic. It is listening from the emerging field of future possibilities.
Where do you find yourself listening most often?
Friday, August 3, 2012
What Do the Olympics Show Us About Leadership
I have been watching the Olympics this week. It has been exciting to see Michael Phelps become the most decorated Olympian of all time. Or to watch Gabby Douglas who almost quit gymnastics at one point, go on to win the Gold medal in the women's all around gymnastics competition. Then there is the women's rowing team who repeated and won a gold medal in this Olympics.
What do successful leaders have in common with these Olympians? First, they are focused and committed. They know where they are going and take the necessary steps to get there. Although there may be disappointments and setbacks along the way, the successful leader keeps on going.
Secondly, successful leaders seek the necessary support from peers, employees, family members and friends. As an executive coach, I know the importance of continued growth and development for leaders today!
Third, there is a degree of humility and gratitude for the success they have had. They give credit where credit is due and avoid taking their success for granted. The successful leader understands she/he is only one part of the entire equation. It usually involves a team of individuals working together.
There are many more parallels that can be drawn between successful leaders and the Olympians we have been watching this week. It would do well for us to learn about leadership from these Olympians.
What do you think are the characteristics of the most successful leaders?
What do successful leaders have in common with these Olympians? First, they are focused and committed. They know where they are going and take the necessary steps to get there. Although there may be disappointments and setbacks along the way, the successful leader keeps on going.
Secondly, successful leaders seek the necessary support from peers, employees, family members and friends. As an executive coach, I know the importance of continued growth and development for leaders today!
Third, there is a degree of humility and gratitude for the success they have had. They give credit where credit is due and avoid taking their success for granted. The successful leader understands she/he is only one part of the entire equation. It usually involves a team of individuals working together.
There are many more parallels that can be drawn between successful leaders and the Olympians we have been watching this week. It would do well for us to learn about leadership from these Olympians.
What do you think are the characteristics of the most successful leaders?
Friday, July 27, 2012
The Benefit of Conflict Resolution
We all know that unresolved conflict costs organizations an astronomical amount of money every year in lost productivity, time, wages and poor working relationships. If that is the case, what prevents organizations from investing the money to resolve it?
Mediation is powerful (I prefer to call it facilitating conversations as it doesn't have all the legal implications). I recently facilitated a conversation with employees that had long term, ongoing conflict. It was amazing to see how the individuals worked through the conflicts and were able to resolve some longstanding issues. Today I am going to provide a short course on how to mediate or facilitate conflict.
It begins with individual interviews to set the tone. In addition to establishing operating principles, there is a discussion of power plays and walk-aways (MTI). Each individual is interviewed to determine her/his perspective, commitment to resolving the issues and potential solutions for doing that. Most often in long term conflict, the issues are multi-faceted. It is imperative the parties understand the facilitator role is not to resolve their issues, but rather to keep the conversation going until they do.
With the interviews complete it is time to bring both parties together. An initial three hour session with more time alloted as needed seems to work well. The following process developed by Judy Mares of Mares-Dixon Associates provides the necessary structure for the conversation:
The final step to ensure success is follow up. Select a time in the very near future to meet with the parties and review the "Memorandum of Understanding". This is critical to ongoing success.
It takes planning, preparation and practice to facilitate those conflict conversations. However, with the appropriate process and belief it will work the results are astounding!
How do you mediate/facilitate conflict in your organization?
Mediation is powerful (I prefer to call it facilitating conversations as it doesn't have all the legal implications). I recently facilitated a conversation with employees that had long term, ongoing conflict. It was amazing to see how the individuals worked through the conflicts and were able to resolve some longstanding issues. Today I am going to provide a short course on how to mediate or facilitate conflict.
It begins with individual interviews to set the tone. In addition to establishing operating principles, there is a discussion of power plays and walk-aways (MTI). Each individual is interviewed to determine her/his perspective, commitment to resolving the issues and potential solutions for doing that. Most often in long term conflict, the issues are multi-faceted. It is imperative the parties understand the facilitator role is not to resolve their issues, but rather to keep the conversation going until they do.
With the interviews complete it is time to bring both parties together. An initial three hour session with more time alloted as needed seems to work well. The following process developed by Judy Mares of Mares-Dixon Associates provides the necessary structure for the conversation:
- Share views and concerns
- Summarize views and concerns (facilitator does this)
- Develop an agenda of issues
- Explore issues in depth
- Generate options for resolving issues
- Evaluate options
- Reach Agreement
- Follow Up
The final step to ensure success is follow up. Select a time in the very near future to meet with the parties and review the "Memorandum of Understanding". This is critical to ongoing success.
It takes planning, preparation and practice to facilitate those conflict conversations. However, with the appropriate process and belief it will work the results are astounding!
How do you mediate/facilitate conflict in your organization?
Friday, July 13, 2012
Book Review: Steve Jobs Biography
I recently read Steve Jobs' Biography by Walter Isaacson. Since I have not followed his career, it was an eye opening view into his life. The book is well researched and gives a well rounded look at this extraordinary man.
Steve ranged from tyrannical, dictatorial and mean to a man who was brilliant, visionary and brought ideas to fruition. He had the uncanny ability to bring the right people together to get the job done. It chronicled his early days with Steve Wozniak and the creation of Apple to his battle with pancreatic cancer in the end.
Throughout the book they talk about Steve's reality distortion field. Bud Tribble at Apple coined this phrase, originally from Star Trek, in 1981 to describe him. Steve had the ability to convince himself and others around him to believe almost anything. Often, he created a seemingly impossible deadline for his employees to complete a project. To their chagrin, the project often was completed on time.
Although brilliant, he carried his own emotional baggage. He was adopted at birth and upon realizing the implications of this a little later in life he had abandonment issues. I highly recommend reading this book. It was a fascinating biography into a fascinating man!
Steve ranged from tyrannical, dictatorial and mean to a man who was brilliant, visionary and brought ideas to fruition. He had the uncanny ability to bring the right people together to get the job done. It chronicled his early days with Steve Wozniak and the creation of Apple to his battle with pancreatic cancer in the end.
Throughout the book they talk about Steve's reality distortion field. Bud Tribble at Apple coined this phrase, originally from Star Trek, in 1981 to describe him. Steve had the ability to convince himself and others around him to believe almost anything. Often, he created a seemingly impossible deadline for his employees to complete a project. To their chagrin, the project often was completed on time.
Although brilliant, he carried his own emotional baggage. He was adopted at birth and upon realizing the implications of this a little later in life he had abandonment issues. I highly recommend reading this book. It was a fascinating biography into a fascinating man!
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